The beginning of the rest of my life!!!!!

Cruise Vacation

Here are some pics of my 7day cruise back in 2011.

San Francisco Trip

Here are some old pics of my vacation back in 2010....

Inconsiderate bottles of Jack!

Yesterday was a bad day.

I normally take the shuttle to my school and leave my car in the building’s parking lot. Sometimes I go days without using my car, trying to save money on gas. I looked out the window as the shuttle passes my car. I do this every few days if I haven’t drove my car for a few days because last year I got two flat tires within the same week (I got paranoid and thought someone was out to get me, lol). So I got into the habit of staring at my tires. This time I notice some glass near one of my back tires. I guess some drunken idiot was walking around the parking lot with a bottle of Jack and dropped, or smashed it on the ground next to my car. I think it was smashed and not dropped accidentally because I tend to think the worst in drunken people. I’m 23 now and I still have not gotten super drunk yet. A little buzz, yes, but never drunk. I guess this means I’m boring? I really do want to know how it feels to be drunk… someday.

Any ways, I’m 100% sure that it was one of the other students that live in my building. My car was parked right at the door way area, so they would have seen it the next day. I feel every disappointed in the person who did this because they didn’t clean up the glass in the parking lot. Now I have to go clean it up before driving off or else it will mess up my tires.

Later in the day, I was doing some homework when I heard some odd noise coming from the hallway of my apartment. There was water coming out of my ceiling! I called maintenance over asap. The guy who came took a quick at it and said, “I’ll go up to see if the boys upstairs flooded their apartment. Not like they would tell me the truth anyways.” He was right. The boys above me told me nothing happen, and that they only had a wet towel on the ground. We knew that was a lie because no towel from a shower could have so much water in it to go thru the floor and into my ceiling. The guy told me he was 100% sure they flooded their bathroom floor because it seem a little wet he was there. The boys upstairs just didn’t want to get in trouble. An hour later he cleaned up the ceiling and carpet for me. The maintenance guy also told me not to be surprise if it happens again. L      

                                        Only a few drops left.... I hope they never come back!

Happy Valentine’s Day

Hubby sent me a sweet card and a box of chocolates. I was sad that we couldn’t be together on this day, but I know we’ll have many more in the future.

Bra shopping is like a slap in the face!!!

Yesterday I went shopping for a bridal bra/bustier to wear under my wedding dress. I went to a few different places to compare the fit/cost. I usually wear a size 32B (small, I know) but every sales lady I went to put me up in a Acup (like I wanted to feel any smaller) ….. it was like a slap in the face. Its ok, I gave them a slap back when it didn’t fit as well as the B cup dose. I can squeeze into an Acup if I wanted to make the girls pop out a little more, but this was for my wedding day so I wanted to be more comfortable and tasteful.

I think the worst part was of the whole day was when I went to this little bridal shop at the local mall. There were only two ladies in the shop, the owner said hello to me when I came in and then sat at the computer the rest of my time there. The other lady was just an employee, middle age, nice, quiet, but she didn’t look like she takes good care of herself, she had messy hair and yellow teeth. Keep in mind that I got this all within the first five minutes of knowing her.

A few minutes later she had already seen and help me put on 3 different bustier, so I guess we got a little comfortable with each other and we started some small talk. She asked me where I went to school, I told her, she said “oh that’s where I went”. Then she asked me what my major is, I told her biology, and on her way out the dressing room, she said while laughing “oh, ha ha ha, that was my major too”, and she shut the door.  It was like the biggest slap in the face I had in a long time. I stood there in stock for about 5 seconds, scenes of what my future would be like if I could not get a job related to my major. I am about to graduate in 2 ½ months and I have no idea what to do with myself. In 2 ½ months from now I would become a real adult, one that has to get a job, make money and all in a way that doesn’t make my degree look like a waste of time and money.

Every person I know that was a biology major has become doctors, pharmacists or went on to get their Ph. D and became a professor. All my bio-major classmates now are all telling me that they plan to do the same things with their degree. I always feel like I am the only bio major that doesn’t plan to go to a grad school after graduation. My professors and classmates always tell me not to worry and that people with my degree still get good well paying job. But I never saw one in real life. Here in this small little bridal shop, standing in a bra, there was a picture of what my future could look like. Would I become a sales woman in the mall? What’s the different between her working in the mall from a teen working in the mall as a summer job? I know for sure that not all of the students who apply for medical school get in to medical school, but they all do have a 4.0 GPA or close to it. I don’t have anywhere near a 4.0! So if those kids a going after the same jobs I do, they would totally get it! Is that what happened to the sales woman? Or did she choose to work here? At the end of the 5 seconds of stock, I calmed down a little, but I was so scared of what my future would be like…

Bra shopping is rough enough on a girl, why did this have to happen too.

At the end of the day, all the shops were way too expensive. I took pictures of the tags which had the brand written on it, and I went home and got a bustier online for almost half the price.       

So Much Snow

I cant go any where today cuz of all the snow :(

Getting ready for marriage – Birth control

I’m going on the pill. I’m getting married soon and there are lots of things I need to do to prepare for the wedding, like flowers, dress, cake, invitations, and all the other little details that are driving me crazy. I also have to prepare for being married and being someone’s wife, like cooking, and….. sex…. Yes I said it….sex.  

I did a lot of research to make sure I knew what the pill would be doing to my body. I learned a lot of interesting facts about birth control and all its forms. Here are a few of the facts that I would like to share with you. The pills are hormones, so its going to take a while for your body to get use to them. Most of the pills will help with acne, but it will take a while, your body may even get a little confuse with the changes in your body and break out! My wedding isn’t until June but I wanted to start taking the pill now so that my body has time to get use to them, so I can make sure my skin is clear, or any weight gain is under control, oh yeah some girls gain weight on the pill too. There a lot of facts everyone should know before going on the pill, I don’t have time to list them all, everyone should do their own research, understand the pros and cons. And yes, there are different cons for every person.

I decided to go on the pill. So now where do I get them? I don’t have any insurance and I just don’t have the kind of relationship with my mom to ask her to take me to the doctor, we’re very asian like that, sex is never a topic, even if I’m getting married. I always envy those mother-daughter relationships where they can talk about everything. I think I’m going to try and make sure my future kids know they can always talk to me about anything. Anyways, back to the present day. So if you live in the states you know about Planned Parenthood. It’s a low cost and/or free health clinic for young people. They take care of everything related to sexual health and they offer free/low cost birth control, all kinds.

But lets be honest, when I think about Planned Parenthood I think about horny teens who have to go there because they think they have an STD or they got pregnant. It almost feels like a shameful place to go to. But I knew I had no shame, I’m a good girl, I’m in love with someone and I wanted to share my love with him in the ultimate way, and I’m being responsible enough to make sure we don’t get pregnant when we’re not ready for it. I told myself that even thought there would be sluts hanging around Planned Parenthood, there would be other girls like me there too. I sucked up some pride and made an appointment.

Yesterday I went in. They handed me a lot of papers to fill out and I took a seat. I don’t know if every clinic was the same or not, but the one I went to looked horrible. The dim lighting, old chairs, old magazines, free condoms next to the door, and flyers about sex, AIDs, and all other STDs put all the shame back into me. It made me feel like they didn’t care enough about the girls in the waiting room to take care of the clinic. Everything looked old and dirty. The other girls sitting around me didn’t look at each other and even though I tried not to judge them, I failed. I’m only human ok, I’m sorry. And even though I tried my best to put my ring in sight, and put my good girl face on as best that I can, who was I kidding, they couldn’t tell what kind of person I was just like I couldn’t with them, so they probably judge me too. So I sat there, keep my head down and waited for my name to be called and hoped that no one I knew saw me there. I really wish that they would update there waiting room so we feel like it was just another doctor’s office.

When my name was called I walked in and got checked out by the doctor. I have to say that I felt better when I came inside and talked to the doctor. The doctor asked me very personal questions that I was proud to answer. It made me feel good to let the doctor know what kind of person I am before she got “personal” with the rest of me. She was really nice to me. But to be honest, I don’t know if she would have been so nice to me if I told her I was a slut. I felt like she was happy to meet a young girl there who….ummm….well just a good girl for once. I was happy she was nice to me but what if I was a slut? Would she still be nice to me? As much as Planned Parenthood tries to advertise that they don’t judge people, there is always some judgment, I was just lucky to get the good kind. No, wait, I wasn’t lucky to get the good kind, I earned it! The world is not fair girls. We get judge, even by other women.

In the end I got my pills and walked out as fast as I could. After the wedding, I’m going to go to somewhere else for my pills, hopefully I’ll have insurance by then. The Planned Parenthood clinic is really helpful to have around but it such a depressing office.                          

Breakfast?

Donuts are for lazy people. So unhealthy, so simple, and oh….. so….. good…...

                                                I guess once every now and then isn’t so bad.

Homemade Pizza

Last class of the day is over……Yeah its Friday!!!

That means I don’t have to think about any school related stuff for the rest of the day. And my favorite thing to do after my last class of the week is to make some of my favorite things to eat. I love cooking. Today I made a pizza, I love pineapple pizza the most, but I had some extra pepperoni around. Its so easy and fast.

Everyone should try making your own pizza, there are lots of how-to videos on youtube if you need help.

 

I try not to drink soda but pizza+soda=classic American lunch.

Dry Face

I would say I have oily/normal skin. But in the winter… my face becomes very dry, so I have to use extra products to keep my face from getting that dry and tight feeling.

 Naruko All in One High Potency Moisturizer

-use it like a toner
-adds a little extra moisture
-good for any skin type, even oily
-good for any age
-absorbs quickly
-$16 USD
This is really good for oily skin because it absorbs so well that you don’t feel like you’ve added anything to your face, but still gives you a nice touch of moisture.

Shiseido White Lucent Brightening Balancing Softener

-use it like a toner
-very moisturizing
-absorbs into the skin very well
-good for most skin types
-good for any age
-$60 USD
This is my favorite moisturizer/toner to use in the winter because it makes my face feel very comfortable, it gets rid of that tight feeling all on its own. I say this is good for most types because I have oily skin in general but dry skin in the winter. So if you have oily skin in the winter you can still use this but maybe not as often. It also adds a brighten effect. Cost a lot but so worth it, this is my second bottle.

Estee Lauder Soft Clean Silky Hydrating Lotion

-use it like a toner
-very moisturizing
-absorbs slowly
-good for dry skin
-good for older people (30+)
-not sure of the price… mine is a sample size
This is very moisturizing but sometimes feels like it is setting on my skin. Oily skin should not use. I only use this when I feel like my skin is so dry and unbalance from a shock of weather changes. I would use it for only 3 days to soften my skin. Older people with dryer skin will find this to be very helpful.

Estee Lauder DayWear Advanced Multi-Protection Anti-Oxidant Lotion

-okay moisturizing
-absorbs slowly
-good for normal skin
-has SPF 15
-$35 USD
I would only use this in the winter time when going outside for a short time. Not good for oily skin. I don’t think I would ever buy this again. Waste of money.

Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel

-very good moisturizing
-absorbs quickly
-every good for oily skin
-good for any age
-$25 USD
This is my favorite face lotion… they call it a gel. Its very lightweight. Softens the skin very well and it really did improve the texture of my skin. Also, you get a lot for your money. I have been using this for almost three years.

I don’t use everything at the same time, I pick and choose according to my skin’s needs at the time. These are just some products I’ve been using this winter.

Keeping my body moisturized

I live in a place that is very cold and snows a lot. Sometimes I feel my body is getting so dry that I feel like seaweed snacks.  So here are some lotions that I find helpful to use in the winter….

Vaseline Aloe Fresh Protecting body lotion with Aloe and sunscreen –

        Pros- moisturize very well, not greasy, SPF 15, less than $5 USD 
        Cons- none
I use this on my hands a lot because its not greasy and it has SPF 15, hands need protection too. You can use this all over your body.

AVEDA Hand Relief –

        Pros- revitalizing vitamin formula, moisturize extremely well, absorbs quick
        Cons- smells like medication, no SPF, ~$10 USD for small tube
Almost the best hand cream I ever used. I say almost because of the cons listed above, but this is really the best for dry hands, and somehow… it can last for up to three hand washes so you don’t have to keep reapplying. It is also made for stressed skin.

Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom body lotion-
       Pros-Smells wonderful, moisturize very well
       Cons- No SPF, $10.50 USD (but on sale often)
I use this all over my body at night so no SPF is ok…, I like the smell very much but it can sometimes be a little too strong to sleep in.

Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom triple moisture body cream-

       Pros- moisturize extremely well, not greasy

       Cons- no SPF, smell is good but way to strong, $12 USD (but on sale often)
I only use this on my hands and feet at night because the smell is way too strong, I would like to use it everywhere on my body because it is really moisturizing.

The body Shop Pink Grapefruit Body Butter

       Pros- Moisturize extremely well, smells wonderful, under $10 USD
       Cons- No SPF
I can use this everywhere on my body and at anytime.

I’ve gained weight!

I’ve gained weight! Ok so I know that I’m skinny. In a matter of fact, I’ve always been very skinny… no haters please. I have been very lucky to have a high metabolism and an active life. But lately, all I do is eat and sleep and sit at my desk studying. Plus my hubby came to visit me over the holiday so that makes things worst cuz I cooked for him everyday… my cooking is good its hard not to over eat lol. Anyways, he left and now I’ve gotten use to that way of eating.

Oh, yeah… I’m getting married in June!!!! So I got to look good by then.

I know I’m still skinny but I have a bigger belly then what I’m use to. And for those who may not understand, when your skinny your whole life, its hard to adjust to the weight gain.

So its time to make a change!

I don’t weigh myself every often because I don’t have a scale. I don’t care about how much I weigh, the number is not important to me. Whats important to me is the way I look and feel. Right now, I feel like a slug and I can see that I have a bigger belly. As of today, and before I eat the pizza I got sitting in the oven, the largest part of my belly is 33inches, the smallest is 26inches(which I’m fine with). The largest part is the only area of my body that I really care about changing its shape. I really only want 3inches off and I need it off by March for my fitting. (The dress is beautiful!)

                                                        call me crazy but i want a FLAT belly 

I don’t want to call this a diet….. cuz its not really a diet. I’ll still eat whatever I want… just less of it. I think I’ll call this… “Project Get Tone” yeah that sounds better.

I’ll try not to eat snacks constantly while watching tv and youtube. I’ll go to the gym in my building more often and do workouts in my apartment more often. I’ll try and find a plan that works for me and update the progress or lack of progress later, with a update pic too. 

By the way I played field hockey and soccer in middle school and high school, I also played basket ball in middle school too. For six years of my life I trained every day, so I know what I’m doing when it comes to work outs. Don’t worry I’m not going to over do it.

Unwanted First Date

So the only “real” first date I ever been on wasn’t so great (like most), and I say “real” this way meaning this was the only first date I went on were the guy was someone I didn’t really know much about and I wasn’t really in to him. So yeah… this was a “real” first date. There has also been a feel times where I’ve been tricked into going on dates, but those stories I’ll save for another time.

When I was in high school, my sister was friends with someone who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy who owns a Chinese buffet. The owner needed someone who looks Asian and can speak English well to become a hostess. It was an easy job, all you had to do was say hello to the customer, seat them, be friendly and keep track of how many people came in and out. The owner hired me on the spot!

There was a waiter who didn’t really talk to me much so I didn’t really notice him for the first few days. The nest week, the full-time hostess that worked with me started telling me all these nice things about him, and he started to sit next to me during our dinner break. I guess they were trying to prepare me for when he finally ask me out. I try to show that I was not interested without being too rude. There was nothing wrong with him, I was just not ready to date.

My modestly didn’t work. He asked me to dinner and on his day off (I only worked two nights a week, he worked six). I told him I didn’t know and I’ll have to check my schedule… a total lie. Right when the words came out of my mount I saw the look of confusion and embarrassment form on his face. I panicked! I told him I’ll call him and let him know after I got a change to check my schedule. It totally made things worse because he gave me his phone number. Now I felt obligated to call him. I left work as fast as I could that night.

When I went home I told my sister what happened. Then her friend who also works at the buffet texted her. The friend told her that the guy really liked me and couldn’t wait for me to call him. What was I to do? My sister told me to give it a try, it wasn’t like we were getting married or something. So I texted the guy (instead of calling… chicken, I know), and I told him I was free to go.

The dated started out lame…… because I had to drive us! Call me old fashion but it just wasn’t what I dreamed my first date would be like. Turns out he didn’t have a car because he lives with his co-workers and they all drive to work together, plus he just moved here from New York. It was understandable.

On the way to the restaurant we had a nice conversation about how he ended up in here and why he left New York (he couldn’t find work in NY, his friend’s dad was the owner of the buffet so that’s how he got the job). When we got to the restaurant he told me more about his life in New York.

So here are some things that I found out about him during our dinner…

He is a high school dropout.

He miss going to school because the girls there were hot.

His little brother will not talk to anyone in his family.
He uses to do a lot of bad things in the pass, but he didn’t tell me what they were, I didn’t ask for details.
He got stabbed in the stomach and almost died…gang related fight.

Okay so there were a few nice things about him but they were the typical things, nothing that would over shadow the negatives.

There were no sparks between us either.

After dinner he asked to go for a movie but I lied and told him I had to go home and study. I dropped him off at his house, but before he got out of my car…. he lead over to kiss me! And I back away from him! I’m not the type to kiss on the first date. I said “sorry”, and he said, “that’s ok”. I went home feeling really bad, I should have just said no to him when he first asked me.  

The next day I had to work. Sooo weird to have to see him again. Right when I sat down, he came over to talk to me. He told me that he was moving back to New York. In a way, I was kind of happy that I didn’t have to see him anymore.

Later that week, my sister found out from her friend that this guy was already planning to move before I started working there. He decided to stay a little longer when he saw me, but then after the date, he clearly saw that it wasn’t going to happen with me. So the next week he was gone.

Losing a Friend

In high school I had a friend name Melissa. We started getting to know each other through mutual friends as a freshman, and then we got really close the next year. We had so much fun together and we were growing up together. We laughed, played and talked about boys like any other teen girls. Melissa became my best friend when we started trusting each other with our deepest darkest secrets.

Although I enjoyed being friends with Melissa, almost everyone else in our school disliked her. Before becoming her friend I had already heard all the rumors and weird things that were said about her. Some of those rumors, I knew could not be true, and some I think may be true, but they were never anything that bad. Main point, Melissa had haters. I wasn’t sure what she did in the pass to gain these haters, and I didn’t care, because I liked her. She was pure fun.

Then one day as I was walking up to the side of the school where my friends and I would stand and talked while we waited for the school bell. Melissa was already there. I stood next to her and said “hi” to everyone. Melissa was the only one that didn’t say “hi” back, I wouldn’t normally take notices but she turned away from me in a way that was just to noticeable to ignore.

She ignored me the whole day and for the following days after that as well. Our mutual friends told me that she was mad at me but they didn’t know why. Every time I tried to talk to her she would simply walk away from me. How do people do that?! She really did just walk away! Like I was a bad smell that she had to get away from ASAP. So I never even had a chance to talk to her at all.

I try to think back to the days leading up to the day she completely stop talking to me. What did I do to make her so mad? Till this day, I still don’t know what happen. No one could get her to tell them why she dislikes me all of the sudden. I guess I’ll never really know what happen.

Maybe this was the reason people didn’t like her. But the good times I had with her were so good that I have never said negative things about her. People can say what that want about her, but I will always think of Melissa as the fun and nice person.

Melissa may have a problem with me but I have no problems with her and I miss her friendship. Friends come and go as we get older. Melissa was the only one I ever regret losing.